Learning Grace

Cultural adjustments go through several stages, moving from novelty to annoyance, then acceptance, and finally adaptation. The first stage is when everything about the culture is new, intriguing, fresh, unusual, and (often) comical. Even though we had experienced much of Chinese culture in our time in Taiwan, much of last year was spent in that first stage. Things were new and fresh, and those things that would have been offensive in the States were still unusual and easily taken with a grain of salt, such as the habit laborers have of pulling their shirt up over their stomach when they are hot. That was last year.

This year, as we have become more adapted to the culture, many of those cultural "quirks" have graduated to annoyances. The driving style is no longer amusing (many drivers drive with both feet, quickly swerve, or cut others off) especially for someone who still gets motion sickness; the stares in public are becoming more tiresome; the shifting of blame more frustrating. And this is where we find ourselves stretched, where we have to put into practice true love of others and grace.

We were all recently tested. Sandy and Emily have been teaching a few hours a week at a local English tutoring center. Their classes consist of 6-10 adorable children (usually) from the ages of 4-10. A few weeks ago, they did a learning week in which their classes met every day rather than a couple times a week, and that really stretched them. They were preparing lessons, teaching kids, dealing with parents and administers daily--it was basically a full-time job. Then, several twists were occurred. Sandy's boss added a 3 year old (with limited Chinese and no English) to one of her classes; her boss also started filming her classes himself; Sandy had to deal with a very disrespectful student (which was out of character for him). All things that required grace.

Now, I know that so far all the difficulties have focused on Sandy, but they influenced us all since Emily is her teaching assistant and I was the house hubby and (of sorts) the teaching mentor helping her navigate these issues. Then, the real test came.

In one of Sandy's classes, a student--who was normally quite well behaved--was a bit out of control. When she was speaking in front of the class, she clowned about and then fell against Sandy's laptop, completely cracking the screen and rendering the computer unusable. To compound things, the mother of the girl (who was in the classroom at the time this happened) told the director that Emily had broken the computer (she was saving face) so the director said the school would pay for the damage. Now, we know that the school is struggling financially and that it was not right for them to pay for the damage, so we decided to pay for it ourselves. This decision, however, required grace and forgiveness on a whole new level.

That afternoon I took the computer to a repair shop who assured me they could replace the entire top cover (including the screen) of the computer in about three days. That was a relief. But still there were all the emotions that come with paying for damage someone else caused who would not admit their guilt. Sandy and I both wrestled with that, but we held firmly to our decision. In a few days we had the computer back -- almost as good as new. But also in a few days Sandy received a text message from the student apologizing for what she did (and she did so with her mother's knowledge and direction). And even though it didn't pay for the damage, it did smooth over some of the emotional struggles we had.

Grace. Grace. Grace. We all need it. We need to give it to others. We need to give a special dose of it in other cultures. And we especially need to give it to those with whom we are closest.